A Wonderfully Ruined Life
by snaxo
Summary: How to Successfully Ruin Your Life AU. A collection of oneshots of Charles and Erik in England.
1. Arrow

"Did you know that our apartment building allows animals?"

"No, Charles, I didn't."

"Well, it does."

Erik sighed and put down the knife he was using to cut up carrots, "We're not getting a pet."

Charles pouted, "Why not?"

"Because you're usually too busy with school and friends and whatnot to take care of a pet."

"Perhaps, but you spend a lot of time here, the both of us could manage a dog just fine."

They'd been living in England just over ten months now, and things were going good. Charles had, unsurprisingly to Erik, adjusted perfectly, and had made a rather large amount of friend from his classes at Oxford. Erik had got a part-time job at a café out of pure boredom, and Charles teased him endlessly for it, but he had made some friends of his own. Some people had given Charles shit for being with Erik, with more than a few rude comments being said about the age difference, but everyone had shut up when they actually _saw _Erik, and realised the guy wasn't above putting their head through a wall if need be. Their relationship was still going strong, too, with only a few small bumps along the way. Erik didn't want to disturb that with an animal.

"You want a dog?"

His boy nodded, "Mmhm."

"I get the feeling you've researched this."

Charles smirked and reached into the bag resting on the kitchen counter. Rummaging for a few seconds, he pulled out brochures advertising animal shelters and slid them across the counter towards Erik. "Only a little," he said.

Erik glared, "We're not getting an animal."

x-x-x-x

"Look at this one, Erik! Her name is Sophie, and she's two years old and _look at that fur_."

"Liebling, please, it's _seven in the morning_."

x-x-x-x

"How was class?"

"Good, wonderful, I really love science. Did you know Hank has two cats and a puppy? They're _really_ cute, you should see, look-"

Erik had a phone shoved towards his face, the message thread between Charles and Hank open to reveal a list of photos consisting of cats and dogs.

"We're not getting a dog."

"I can settle for a cat."

"_No."_

x-x-x-x

"Darwin has an American Bulldog."

"Since when did you talk to Darwin without me?"

"We're a couple, Erik. The whole 'your friends are my friends now' thing, remember?"

"Your friends are scared of me."

"No they're not."

"Hank looks as if he's going to piss his pants every time I smile."

Charles couldn't help the laugh, "Well, _maybe_ if you didn't give the impression that you'd kill him in a heartbeat, he wouldn't be so scared."

"It's not just an impression, darling. If he blows something up in that lab with you in it, I _will_ kill him."

Charles rolled his eyes, body moving so his head was resting in Erik's lap. "Darwin's named his dog Bully."

"Good for him."

The boy pouted up at him, but Erik just ran his fingers through his soft hair. "Hate you."

"Love you."

x-x-x-x

"This one is called Smooch, Erik."

"Even if we were getting a dog, it definitely wouldn't be called _Smooch_."

x-x-x-x

"Did you know Moira has a poodle?"

"No."

"Her name is Princess, and she's the cutest thing. See?"

Charles threw his phone at Erik, a photo of him when they were still in America holding a small poodle on the screen. Erik thought the dog got in the way of Charles' cuteness.

"You're cuter."

Charles plonked himself on Erik's lap and kissed the man's cheek softly, "I love when you use words like 'cuter'."

Erik scowled.

Charles giggled.

x-x-x-x

"We've been living in England for almost a year now."

"Mmhm."

"We should get each other gifts."

"Charles, if this is you hinting at me getting you a dog as an anniversary gift of some sort, stop now."

"You're no fun."

x-x-x-x

"Honey, I'm home!" Erik called, chucking the apartment keys into the bowl Charles had placed near the door.

"Lounge room," was Charles' shouted reply.

Erik obediently made his way down the narrow hall and into the lounge room, spotting Charles sitting crossed-legged on one of their couches, laptop placed in his lap and his eyes glued to the screen.

"Nearly a year, and you still say all the cliché phrases."

"Maybe I like the cliché phrases," Erik said, bending to place a kiss to Charles' forehead. "What are you looking at?"

"Shelter pages," Charles smiled sheepishly at him. "I think I did something I shouldn't have."

Erik gave him a quizzical look and sat down next to him, one arm wrapping around his shoulders. "What'd you do?"

Charles closed the laptop and set it aside, snuggling into Erik's side, "I may have gone to the animal shelter in London."

"You fell in love with one of them, didn't you?" Charles nodded against Erik's chest. Erik sighed, "Let's see it, then."

The dog, Erik had to admit, was rather beautiful. She was a little French bulldog, with white fur and black patches around her eyes and one on her back in the shape of a wonky arrow.

"Her name's Arrow, because of the spot, I think, and she's only one year old. They said she came from an abusive family, or something. She's lovely, Erik. They let me play with her for a bit, and she was just _lovely _and, I just—I want her, Erik, I know you don't want a dog, but she's beautiful."

Erik sighed again, his lips pressed to the top of Charles head as he stared at the photo of Charles holding crouching down and petting the dog.

x-x-x-x

"Can I help you, sir?"

Erik smiled tightly, "I'm looking for a dog named Arrow."

x-x-x-x

Reflecting on the past year and a bit of his life, Erik came to the conclusion that he _really_ ought to not fall for Charles' puppy eyes anymore. It was uncanny what the boy could make him do.

Arrow sat curled up next to him on the floor, her tiny head placed against his leg as she rested with her eye shut. Erik was running a hand over her soft fur gently, not really paying attention to what he was doing; too busy focusing on the clock as he waited for Charles to come home from wherever it was he'd gone with his friends.

Erik felt a bit bad for not knowing where Charles was, but he'd been so distracted in the morning, worrying about _how the hell_ he was going to get all the thing the apartment would need for a dog _and _how he was going to actually get the dog without Charles noticing. He'd ran across London, quite literally at one point, stopping at every pet store he saw and buying _every-bloody-thing_ he even _thought _they would need.

It would be worth it, Erik thought to himself, if it made Charles happy.

x-x-x-x

Erik heard the door bang shut, and then heard the soft patter of Charles' footsteps. Arrow twitched against his leg, her head turning quickly to look in the direction of the sound. Erik grabbed her and pulled her to his chest, standing up to go and stand in the doorway.

"Guess who I saw—" Charles stopped short, his eyes focusing on the little dog in his arm as a smile lit up his face. "Oh, my God!"

"Hello, darling."

"_Erik!"_

Erik smiled, and Charles dropped the bag he was holding on the floor and came to stand next to him, hand reaching out and patting Arrow softly. He looked like he wanted to jump up and down from excitement.

"You—"

"Yes."

"_Erik!"_

"Happy one year in England?"

Charles giggled, leaning up and over Arrow, who was squirming in Erik's arms, to kiss the older man quickly. "I love you so much."

"You better, I ran through London carrying a ridiculous amount of bags, with a jingling, bright pink collar in-between my teeth for you."

He put the dog back on the floor, and she immediately jumped up on Charles. It was obvious that both Charles and the dog were ecstatic.

Definitely worth it, Erik thought.

x-x-x-x

"I've been thinking," Charles said from his spot on the floor, Arrow curled up near his arm.

"That's never good."

Charles rolled his eyes, "We've had Arrow for six months now."

"Yes?" Erik drawled, not liking where the topic was likely to go.

"I was thinking we should get a cat."

"_No."_


	2. Insecurity & Misunderstanding

"Charles, what do you wa-" Erik stopped mid-sentence as he spotted the gangly kid on the screen of Charles' laptop.

Charles turned from the spot at his desk and looked towards Erik, smiling. "What do I want for what?"

"Um," Erik drawled, eyes still on Charles' screen.

The young man rolled his eyes, "Come in, dummy, don't just stand in the doorway."

Erik did, if only to get a better look at the kid. He stood behind Charles, one hand moving to curl around the back of his chair. "Who are you?"

The kid stuttered, eyes flickering to Charles, "I'm, uh..."

"This is Hank, he's the lab partner I told you about," Charles turned back to the screen, "Hank, this is my partner, Erik. He's not nearly as scary as he looks."

"Well no, not to _you_," Erik muttered, eyes narrowing at the screen. Charles had told him about Hank, and Erik had long ago came to the conclusion that he didn't like him. He and Charles had too much in common and got on to well for Erik's liking.

"Hank and I are discussing the assignment we have," Charles continued. "I think it'd be best if he came over tomorrow, is that okay with you?"

_No_. "Sure, liebling, there's some stuff I need to do tomorrow so I won't be in the way."

"You're never in the way."

Erik smiled slightly, "I wanted to know what you wanted for dinner."

"Oh, whatever, everything you make is perfect."

Erik rolled his eyes but leant down to kiss Charles' cheek anyway, smirking at the screen as he noticed the uncomfortable blush colouring Hank's face. "Everything it is, then."

x-x-x-x

"Something's off with you," Charles murmured, leaning into Erik's side.

"I'm fine."

"Yes, because telling me you're 'fine' is going to reassure me."

Erik sighed, "It's nothing."

Charles was quite for a moment, calculating eyes roaming over Erik's face. "It's Hank," Charles stated. Erik stayed silent long enough for Charles to know he was right. He sighed, "Erik..."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not."

"It's just," he paused "You have a lot more in common."

"_So?_"

"And you get along with him, and you like talking to him, I mean, you're always talk-"

"_We_ have a lot in common, we get along just fine, I _love_ talking to you, I'm always talking to you."

"Yeah, but-"

"I'm more likely to fuck a _female_ than I am to fuck Hank, Erik."

"That isn't what I was implying!" Erik scowled, "You wouldn't get so much shit for being with him, either."

Charles' eyes widened, and he moved closer to Erik, hand clutching into the older man's sleeve. "Is _that_ what this is about?"

Erik just _looked_ at him.

"For fuck sakes," Charles muttered, and pushed the other man back on the lounge so he could climb onto his lap. "I want you, Erik, _only_ you. I couldn't give a shit about what anyone else has to say about it."

A smile tugged at Erik's lips, and Charles leant forward to kiss him softly. "I still don't like Hank," Erik mumbled.

"If I allow you to act all possessive when he's here tomorrow, will you feel better?"

Erik's arms tightened around the boy's slim waist, "Perhaps."

"Keep the lethal threats and glares to a minimum, though. He's rather antisocial and scares easily."

Erik snorted, "You always manage to get the interesting friends."

x-x-x-x

Charles was cleaning his desk up, putting things away in draws and shelves so the room looked nicer when he felt two arms wrap around his waist, and a lean, muscular chest push up against his back. "I was waiting for this."

"Mmhm," Erik kissed the spot behind his earlobe softly. "What do you think _this_ is?"

Charles leant into him, "_This _is me allowed you to calm your possessive side and have your way with me any way you want."

Erik scowled at him, "I sound bad when you put it like that."

Charles laughed quietly, "I don't mind, you know, you're possessiveness is a bit of a kink."

Warm puffs of air hit Charles' neck as Erik huffed a laugh. He lent further into Charles' warm body, a smile on his lips, "I believe you said any way I want?"

"Mmhm."

Erik's eyes landed on the desk, and he pushed Charles forward gently.

"On the desk?

"Yep."

"Seriously?"

"You said any way I want."

"I was hoping you'd pick the bed."

Erik turned him so they were standing chest to chest, and he kissed Charles roughly, nipping at the boy's lips as he pressed him up against the edge of the desk.

"On second thought, the desk isn't that bad."

It took a few minutes of moving about, but Erik eventually got the desk clear with Charles on top of it, naked flesh shining in the light from the lamp Charles had previously turned on.

"I can't believe we're doing this on _my desk_," Charles muttered, his legs wrapped around Erik's waist.

"Have fun doing work in the room afterwards," Erik responded, smirking as he made quick work of preparing Charles.

The younger man groaned, back arching as Erik pressed his fingers deep inside of Charles. "You bloody- oh fuck, there- bastard."

Erik grinned, lips trailing Charles' jaw, "You knew that when you met me."

"Yes- _yes_- and it's part of your ch-charm."

"You should probably stop trying to hold a conversation," Erik said, his amusement evident.

Charles glared playfully, and continued to push against Erik's hand as the man added another finger and began to move his hand faster.

"Anything in here to make this a little less painful?"

"Left draw," Charles gasped, hips thrusting in an attempt to fuck himself against Erik's fingers. "Thought we m-might need it o-one day."

Erik used his free hand to rummage around in the draw and pick out the lube; it was only a small bottle, but it would do. "Condom?"

"Don't have one," Charles squirmed. "We don't need one, now please, _move_."

"You sure?"

"_Erik_."

"Okay, okay!" Erik replied, removing his fingers from Charles and getting himself ready. "Ready?"

Charles' head banged against the desk slightly as he nodded, body all but trembling with the anticipation, "_Hurry up_."

"So impatient, liebling," Erik mocked, but he made quick work of removing his remaining clothing and positioning himself correctly.

He pushed in, and Charles cried out loudly, his legs tightening around Erik's waist. Erik found himself, not for the first time, glad that their apartment had thick walls; he didn't think their neighbours would appreciate Charles' moans as much as he did. He pulled out half way and pushed back in, watching as Charles pushed back, his hands scraping the desk as he tried to grasp something.

"Don't wait," Charles whimpered.

"Impatient," Erik said again, smirking as Charles kept pushing against him.

"_Please_," Charles begged. "I'm uncomfortable and horny, make it quick."

Erik chuckled but set a faster rhythm, hitting Charles' prostate with each thrust, and groaning when said man withered beneath him. He leant down, his mouth moving sloppily against Charles', and moved his hand between their bodies; nipping and sucking Charles' jaw as his hand began to rub Charles' already leaking dick.

"The reaction I get from you never ceases to amaze me, liebling," Erik murmured against his neck, thrusting into Charles roughly, increasing his speed each time as his hand moved in the same rhythm.

Charles bit his lip to muffle another loud moan; he didn't reply, just pushed himself harder against Erik's cock and hand. One hand moved to grab onto the hair at the base of Erik's neck, his fingers tightening in the strands with each hit to his prostate and bite to his neck. Erik, in turn, groaned loudly against his skin, and Charles knew neither of them would last very long. Erik kept his quick pace, his hands holding onto Charles' hips tight enough to leave marks for the next day or so.

"I'm going, I—_Erik, fuck – _I'm doing to—"

"Come on, darling, come for me."

With one last thrust from Erik, Charles came, his come splattering and covering both his and Erik's stomachs as his hands scraped down Erik's shoulder blades. Erik followed not long after, his body slumping against Charles' as his come filled the younger man. Charles moved his head to kiss Erik, his breath coming in short puffs.

"Well," Charles said after they were breathing like normal people again, "This is thoroughly uncomfortable, and you aren't very light."

Erik laughed, but eased off him. "Have fun doing anything on this desk without thinking about what we just did."

"I hate you."

x-x-x-x

Erik followed Charles to the door when he heard the tentative knocking, "He's early."

Charles looked behind him and rolled his eyes, "By six minutes."

"We could have had to do _things_ in those six minutes."

"Don't scare him too much."

"I won't."

"Don't smile too much, it'll probably scare him."

"_Charles_."

"Don't hover without reason, either, it makes you look weird."

"We went through this last night."

"Yes, but-"

"Answer the door."

Charles did, clicking the lock and opening it to reveal a twitchy Hank. He beamed at the other boy, hoping to calm some of the nerves Hank so obviously possessed, "Hello, Hank!"

"Hey, Charles," was the quiet reply, Hanks eyes darting between Charles face and the man standing behind him.

Erik stayed quiet, a stony look on his face. Hank shifted, his distress evident.

"Ignore his behaviour, Erik's a bit of a sociopath. Erik, be polite."

"Hello," Erik said when Charles' pinched his side.

Hank smiled nervously , "Hello, uh..."

"I swear to god, Hank, if you call my boyfriend 'sir', I will throw you off the balcony."

The little colour remaining on Hank's face vanished and he swallowed, "Oh, I, uh-"

Charles took pity on the stumbling boy, "Hank, calm down, no one will throw you off anything-"

"Debatable," Erik murmured. Hank's eyes widened.

Charles pinched him again, "He's kidding, Hank. Please come in."

Charles turned and placed a hand on Erik's chest, pushing him back through the hallway. Hank followed, closing the door quietly.

"Ignore any boxes or such, we haven't entirely moved in yet."

"What he means," Erik said, voice monotone, "Is that he hasn't finished unpacking his books yet. Everything else was unpacked within the first few weeks."

"Nevertheless, there's piles of books all over my study, and I just wanted to warn you."

"It's fine, really, my room's always messy."

They stopped at the bend of the hallway, standing in front of the door leading to the kitchen.

"Would you like anything, Hank? Water, food?"

"Ah, no, thank you."

Charles nodded and turned to Erik, "Hank and I are going to try and get some work done, will you be able to entertain yourself for a few hours?"

"I'll find something."

Charles nodded again and leant up to kiss Erik's cheek. "Interrupt at your own risk, there'll be a lot of science going on."

Erik rolled his eyes.

x-x-x-x

"Do you really own this place?"

Charles twirled around in his desk chair, "Erik and I share."

"It's massive."

"Really? It's sort of small compared to my family home."

"_Small_?"

"Elite family background," Charles said dismissively, and smiled. "I realise it's a bit extravagant for someone our age, but I like space. The books wouldn't fit, otherwise."

"Oh."

Charles smiled at him again and turned towards his desk, a faint blush warming his cheeks as he remembered what he and Erik had done the night before. He cleared his throat and opened the chemistry book sitting in front of him, "Let's get started, shall we?"

x-x-x-x

Charles and Hank had been working for just over an hour and a half when Erik opened the door and walked in, "Charles?"

Charles twisted the desk chair and faced him, "If you're coming in again just hover, please leave."

"Not this time."

Charles grinned, "Then what can I do for you?"

"I'm going to do the grocery shopping, did you want anything in particular?"

Charles stuck his arms out in the direction of Erik and made grabby hands, "A kiss goodbye."

Erik rolled his eyes but went over anyway, leaning down to rub his hands down Charles' waist and place a soft kiss against the purply-red mark on his neck. He smirked against Charles' skin when he noticed Hank blushing and looking at anything but them.

"Also," Charles said, oblivious, as he pulled away. "Can you get more tea, and that vanilla and mint ice-cream? Oh, and the stuff to make the rice thing you made last week?"

Erik tried not to laugh at him but nodded, "Anything else?"

Charles shrugged and looked in Hank's direction, "Do you want anything?"

"N-no, I'm fine, thank you."

Charles nodded and turned back to Erik, "I'll text you if I think of anything else."

"I'll be back soon, then."

Charles leant up and kissed Erik chastely, "Don't die."

"And leave you running around England all by yourself? Never."

x-x-x-x

"Looking a bit pale there, Hank."

"You and Erik are an odd couple."

Charles looked over at him surprised, "How so?"

"Well," Hank said, "You're really nice, and he's really... not?"

"Yes," Charles laughed, "I suppose so. But we level each other out, I think."

"How long have you been together?"

"Over a year, now."

"Oh."

"What?"

Hank shook his head, "I, uh, just- How old were you?"

"Seventeen," Charles frowned. "It was both legal and consensual, if you're worrying about that."

"No, no," Hank said quickly, "I don't think you'd be living with him if it weren't. It's just surprising."

"I suppose so," Charles shrugged. "I mean, it's natural for me, but I understand why some people think it's wrong."

"Love's not _wrong_."

A grin lit up Charles' face, "Quite right, my friend, it isn't."

Hank gave him a half smile before turning back to his book.

"You shouldn't be scared of him, you know," Charles said after a few quiet pauses.

"He's scary."

Charles rolled his eyes, "He really isn't, Hank."

"He looks it."

"He's not."

"That's easy for you to say," Hank mumbled. "It's easy to see that he loves you."

Charles couldn't help the burst of feeling that went through his chest at that. "He won't murder anyone without my approval, I assure you. And I hardly think I'll agree to _your_ murder, so really, there's nothing to worry about."

Hank swallowed audibly, "That's comforting."

x-x-x-x

"Did you get a lot done?"

Charles nodded, "Heaps, didn't we, Hank?"

"Oh, yes, more than I thought we would, actually."

"Charles has a tendency to interrupt and distract me when I'm trying to work. I suppose it's the same for you?"

Hank paused for a moment before nodding, smiling guiltily at Charles.

"However, I'd say the way he distracts me is a bit different from how he distracts you," Erik continued, a smirk on his face.

"_Erik_," Charles said, as both he and Hank blushed.

"What?"

"You know what."

Erik just laughed and shrugged, "You said not to scare him, you never said not to embarrass him."

Charles glared at him, but Erik could tell he was trying not to laugh and be rude. "Hank," he said, "Please ignore my _lovely_ boyfriend's behaviour. No one ever taught him how _not_ to be an asshole."

Erik grinned at Hank as the boy stammered, "It-It's okay, really. I've had worse experiences."

Charles sighed and nodded, "Anyway, thank you for coming. It was good to have someone here who didn't zone out-"

"I don't zone out!"

"-when I start talking about genetics."

"Thanks for having me."

Charles opened the door, Erik standing so close behind him he could feel the older man's body heat. "Until next time."

Hank nodded and smiled awkwardly, "Bye, Charles, and, uh, Erik."

"Goodbye."

x-x-x-x

"You're an arse."

"Yes, darling, but you love me for it."

x-x-x-x

Charles snuggled up against Erik's side, his hand tracing mindless patterns against the bare skin of Erik's chest. "I can't believe you thought I'd even _consider_ doing something that wasn't completely platonic with Hank."

"I'm allowed to be insecure every once in a while," Erik murmured, his own hand running through Charles' hair.

"Well, yes, but _Hank_? He's one of the last people I'd consider if I was going to have an affair."

"That's comforting," Erik scoffed. "And I never said you _were_ having an affair, I said you two have a lot in common."

Charles ignored him, "Not to mention Hank is actually younger than me, and a bit like a little brother at the moment."

"Okay, _okay_, I'm sorry!"

Charles kissed Erik's shoulder, "He might not even be gay."

"I get your point," Erik mumbled, pulling Charles so he was laying half on top of him.

Charles giggled, his hair falling over his forehead and into his eyes "Mmhm, do you?"

Erik couldn't help but kiss him, "Yes."

"Good," Charles replied.

Erik ran his hand down Charles' back, his fingers massaging the flesh softly. "Love you, darling."

Charles shifted, placing yet another soft kiss to Erik's skin, "Love you, idiot."


End file.
